During our life we go through different schools, jobs, homes, holiday locations, leisure centres, churches, supporting groups, associations… That’s how we get to know the people that we share our time with.
Movement is permanent, change is constant, life follows its course. Those people we met pass by sometimes and others they stay. Those who leave can fade in our mind and even disappear. They can also remain there, discreet in the distance, sending a sparkle in the shape of a memory every now and then. Some leave a trace, a march, a learning.
Others however stay in our lives, sometimes because they choose to and we do too, in other cases because we insist and then, even the ones who did not want at first, end up wanting to stay. They all must want to, otherwise there is no way to remain around.
We want to see this people. We want to touch them, hear about them, feel them close even in the distance because we need to tell them, share things with them, ask them. When doing that, we are letting ourselves go with an ancient & primary instinct that brings us close together, pushing us to love them and even need them, or that is at least what we think. They are special beings to us because we’ve felt, grown & shared with them.
If any of this people, for whatever reason, leave, go away or disappear, we can feel a sharp pain, sadness, remorse, melancholy, loneliness, fear… The absence of those that we love can generate suffering for us and nothing, apart from time, can ease that pain. And this happens even when we are aware of the fact that change is the only reality that will always remain. Love stories finish, relationships come to an end, friendships worsen, dear ones move abroad and even die, like everything else in this life.
It might be attachment, drama liking, dissatisfaction, frustration. Each of us can identify the feeling with a label but all those emotions hold ignorance, unconsciousness, lack of self knowledge and the need to cling to someone and to the pain we experience due to their absence. As a consequence, we obtain dependency & unhappiness.
We all follow our own path. Each path leads to somewhere. Changing is the only constant reality in life and unconditional love will not fade because of physical distance or due to death. People we love remain with us even if they are far away, whether if they come back or not. Thinking of them, keeping in touch, honouring them in our memory & heart are always choices we can make. Letting them go, with all its implications, and feeling that the time we shared was a blessing it is also in our hands. By doing it that way, absence becomes less painful.
There are things in life that even the strongest wind cannot drag with it.
"You will be with me as long as my body casts
its shadow and my sandal walks on the sand."
(Antonio Machado, from poem XXIX, Solitude)