'Exposure', selfportrait by the young American artist Alexa Meade. She, literally, paints over reality.
Quite often we want everything to remain as it is; we want some things to stay immutable; we would like everything to stop moving. However, Life is change and change is permanent, constant & endless movement. We keep walking in our path hoping some times that nothing changes and Life, which is stronger than all this, follows its own will every time, modifying the rules of the game, the set, the actors and even the direction if needed.
The so very popular change! The hackneyed & recalcitrant change! It’s been a few years now since we started talking about it & about opportunities, weaknesses & threats. Still, many of us go through it from the toughest resistance, denying the engine force of Life, that is so huge & so powerful!
We resist intensely sometimes, and that resistance brings in all sort of annoying emotions & negative feelings.
We resist to lack of affection, to break-ups, to the gentleness of that flower that cracks and breaks our heart in two; we say no to disease too and disown it, looking for patches to cool it down, searching for explanations out there, when the illness is actually born inside of us; we renounce death, seeing it as the enemy, reproaching it that has no right to be, to come & touch us in the flesh of our loving ones. And, at the end of the day, lack of love, disease and death are only part of our deepest selves.
So we get angry, we try to runaway, we suffer or even curse sometimes… At the end of the day, annoying & painful emotions are caused simply by our ignorance.
If we are able to fully embrace whatever occurs to us by accepting it, by thinking about it and surrendering to Life, then we will understand how everything happened, what can be repair, winning space in our minds and enjoying a wider wellbeing through understanding. From there, there is no doubt that our results will be also different.
It is all about learning how to find meaning within the ‘bad’ things that happen to us, those that make us suffer. All emotions are related to each other, there is always a connection. But to access that information we need to gain mental clarity. Clarity of mind comes from practise. By practising we create a habit which results in that clarity. Through compassion we develop wisdom and all that takes us to enlightenment, a state in which everything is balanced, we can breathe serenity & feel just fine.
A few days ago somebody in a training session was asking me if there was a formula to win oneself this space. Ah, magic recipes!
If we could summarise it into a simple math formula that we all (including myself, as I am terrible with figures) could understand and follow (and paraphrasing something I heard from Alex Rovira over three years ago), change is need minus resistance and transformation equals change plus meaning:
CHANGE = NEED – RESISTANCE
TRANSFORMATION = CHANGE + MEANING
So our task could start by giving value to the elements of those formulas above in order to generate new solutions.
Transformation is possible as long as it comes from a true inner move. Sometimes we will not be able to carry it out in our won, and that’s fine; we will always have someone who helps us and that cooperation becomes also a basic tool for change and for genuine transformation.
So, how does it feel?
"You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
(Poem ‘Still I rise’, by Maya Angelou)